he didn’t even buy fish food. just the fish. in a bag. which he left in the kitchen sink.

The Adolescent Boy has some good latch key freedom after school.  He rides his bike to and from school, and lets me know where in San Diego he is between the time he gets out of school and the time he has to come home.  Usually he goes to his best friend’s house, whose mom is really mean, but pretty much leaves them alone.  Sometimes he and his best friend go to the frozen yogurt place.  Sometimes they go to Barnes and Noble, where they do something that never includes looking at books.  Sometimes they go to the bike shop.  One time they went to Petco and bought goldfish. 

Apparently they didn’t have enough money for anything else, but goldfish are, like, cheap.  So they each bought three.  Goldfish.  In a bag. 

Now understand, we don’t have fish.  We didn’t have an aquarium to add the goldfish to, we didn’t have an old fish tank in the garage we could clean up and put the fish in.  So really all we had was three goldfish.  In a bag.  He didn’t even buy fish food.  Just the fish.  In a bag.  Which he left in the kitchen sink.

I pulled some old crappy glass vase out of a cabinet and put the fish in it with water.  And then I kept forgetting to go buy fish food.  And like, a proper fish bowl.  I tried feeding them squashed up bits of oatmeal, but they didn’t really like it. 

And then they died. 

The Sailor was here for the tail end of the goldfish debacle.  So he took the Adolescent Boy out and bought him a big fish tank with lights and a filter and everything.  He got a crashed airplane and some rock sculptures and some plants and green and gray gravel for it too. But, like, no fish per se.

He said to set it up and let it run for a few days before putting fish in it.  So I set it up.  A couple of weeks ago.  And we still don’t have any fish to put in it.  Which I think?  Is totally fine.  Because a fish tank without fish?  Is perfect.  It doesn’t ever.  Have.  To be.  Cleaned.

The kids are all we need to go get fish for the fish tank.  And I’m all yeah, no, we’re not doing that.  I’ve convinced them that goldfish are unhappy in captivity and that they’re raised on fish farms that don’t treat them humanely and that the constant cleaning of a fish tank when it contains, say, fish?  Is bad for the environment.

Booyah.  Mom, 1; Little People, 0.