I'm pretty sure today was supposed to end with me making out with jake ryan

I have decided to throw myself a Sweet Sixteen party! Why? You ask. Because...drumroll, fanfare, rose petals in my path...I PASSED!

Dan, the nicest, most handsome, smartest DMV examiner in all of Cahlifahnia, passed me! He passed me, even though I couldn't find the button that makes both blinkers go at once, and the driver's side window would not work, and the rearview mirror on the driver's side door popped off during the test.

So here is my *sweet* sixteen things I did do while driving today that I did not do during the exam (in no particular order):

1. almost ran into the lamp post as I exited the DMV parking lot because I was dialing my phone

2. drank coffee, spilled coffee on lap, dug napkin out of console, sopped up coffee

3. called DMV 1-800 number, entered zip code, scrawled driving directions to Escondido DMV on torn-in-half coffee sleeve cardboard

4. reached through three-inch window gap and shoved folded-up piece of torn-in-half coffee sleeve cardboard into the gap between the driver's side mirror and mirror frame to hold it at the proper angle

5. tried desperately to fix broken driver's side window, by steering with knee while hoisting upward on partially rolled down window while jamming window button with a pen for leverage *did not work*

6. applied grapefruit-y smelling lip gloss

7. checked email

8. replied to email while singing along with Steve Miller Band's Abracadabra

10. merged with traffic on the Fifteen while talking on the phone and steering with knee

11. put hair in ponytail while steering with knee *again*

12. MapQuested Bread Bites coffee shop

13. drove about 14 miles with parking brake on (I never use it, but put it on when I parked in the DMV lot after the test)

14. cleaned about 19 gum wrappers out of cup holder

15. reviewed contract with realtor to sell my house in Colorado

and finally...

16. I paid my cable bill after arguing for 15 minutes about backdating the cancellation of HBO, Cinemax and Starz (which, by the way I cancelled on Sept. 18th and succeeded in getting credited back to Sept. 18th, yay me!) while reapplying grapefruity smelling lip gloss and searching through purse for stray Halloween candy.

So you see...I am already the embodiment of the quintisential Cali driver. Happy Sweet Sixteen to me...but where is my Camero with the bow on the hood? Oh, and...I'm pretty sure today was supposed to end with me making out with Jake Ryan.